the time between

what they wanted
was to trap it,

diagram it
get the coordinates
but that's where the trouble starts.

all we wanted
was to cut the tension

break the silence
excavate the evidence

signs that we were still alive

to pass the time between

when we were children 

when we were grown

to pass the time between

when we were smoking teens

when we were smoking teens

we put out cigarettes 

on our skin

we carved our arms

with kitchen scissors

we wanted ugly
wanted ugly

to cut through the angry

to cut through the sad

to punish ourselves

for being so bad

to show you

this is how much 

this skin can hurt

this is how much 

this nothing hurts
this is how much

cut the tension

break the silence

dig up evidence that we were still alive

cut the tension

break the silence

excavate the evidence

we are alive

intentional love song 5: a little smoke

woman in a black dress

smoking secret cigarettes

says come and be the last man 

I'll ever kiss this year

roll down the highway

stop to buy some smoke

look around for a place to let

and drive on, drive on

woman in another state

says she's got a couch to spare

if I don't mind a little smoke

I say I don't mind 

a little smoke

she said the last man I ever kissed

was the last man I ever kissed

climb the dark stairs

what's this bubbling 

up in my blood?

what's steaming

under the hood?

mother in the garden

fire in the kitchen 

mother in the garden

fire again

put down the pony 

frogs in the basement

neighbors on the party line

frogs in the well

lights in the drive

blue, red, and turning 

mother in the garden

something is burning

under the car at night

holding a torch for father

smell of spilled gasoline

orange of cigarette

smoke up the chimney

the game on teevee

twisting the aerial

pictures of snow

caught in the thunder

running in the rain 

wet camera jolting 

and jolting and jolting 

stories to 

sleep on

the dark and 

the bells

Nancy, Sikes,

Silver, Kim,

shipwrecked and 

kidnapped

and

climb the dark stairs

tempest and midsummer

salt and vinegar

the Russians in winter

alone in the woods

under the car at night

holding a torch for father

smell of spilled gasoline

orange of cigarette

mother in the garden

fire in the kitchen 

mother in the garden

fire again

stories to sleep on

climb the dark stairs

Whose war was she in?

[[ From a memory of when I was very young in the 1960s and my mother had brought me with her into a social club. A drunken woman approached us to see this pale little boy. She said she liked my name and repeated it back to me in a low, drawn-out voice several times. Her face was scarred, seamed, pieced, I don't know from what. In those days, she could have been through either world war or through a windscreen made from the opposite of safety glass. ]]


Who is this tumbler reeling
towards us in the club?
I must be five and she a thousand.
I must be terrified and frozen.

Save me, ma, from
the fates at night.

Save me, ma, from
the bombs that fall.

Save me, ma, from
the patchwork face.

Save me, save us all,
ma, from us all.

Who is this woman with
a glass of something golden,
an orange cigarette smolder,
a face pieced back together
along the seams?

Save me, ma, from
the fates at night.

Save me, ma, from
the bombs that fall.

Save me, ma, from
the patchwork face.

Save me, save us all,
ma, from us all.

Whose war was she
in? Whose war?
Whose war was she?
No one left to ask.