Whisky, whores, and gold (fuck this town)

[[ is it a Broadway song or a country song or a folk song? ]] 

Why should a man 

dig potatoes 

all day 

in these fields,

when there's gold 

to be dug 

from the ground? 

Why should a man 

hitch his wagon 

to the neighbor's 

pale girl,

when he could swing

a new dancer 

each night?

Why should a man 

grind out his life

in these 

four square walls,

when he could ride 

a straight line

till he's gone?

Why should a man

spend his days

signing checks

in this town,

when he could go

give a mountain

his name?

[[ first the noble-sounding stuff... ]] 

Ride 

with the morning behind you

Ride 

with the night in your eyes

Die 

with the stars rolling over your bones, but

Live

under infinite skies

[[ ...but then cut to the truth ]]

Course there's gold and whores and whisky,

Whores and whisky and gold.
Wouldn't want a girl to miss me

Wouldn't be a man to be told

All I want is whores and whisky

Give me whisky and whores
And gold.

I'm going out west, 

Cause fuck this town.

I will strike a match

I will burn it down

Fuck the thirteen colonies

Right from Maine on down

Fuck every city 
to the Mississippi

But, most of all, 
fuck this town.

I can't say I'm not going to miss you

I can't say I won't look around

But I can't stay another damned minute

Or I swear I will burn this place down

two by two

[[ I hear this one played by a Big Band, but it could just as easily be a lone acoustic guitar or a piano, just as long as it's a happy dance number for couples. ]]


Chorus:
Two by two came the crocodiles
Two by two, the giraffes
Two by two, the hyenas,
who are always good for laughs.

Two by two ...
- with a snarl
- with a smile
- down the garden path
- down the aisle

Verse 1:
When Noah built the ark and stowed the crocodiles below
He knew he had a place where Mrs Noah wouldn't go
So down he went to smoke his pipe and play his harp at night
To crocodiles with miles of smiles in Noah's candlelight.

Bridge:
And Noah sang a song about the sunshine of his youth
Six hundred years before the rains came down
When he would stroll the countryside with Zipporah or Ruth
And later take her all the way to town

Chorus:
||: Two by two :||  etc.

Verse 2:
When Noah sang his song, he beat the rhythm on the rug,
And sixteen thousand animals, each goat and cat and bug,
Would pair up with its mate and start to dance the dance of life.
Then Noah went upstairs to do some dancing with his wife.

Bridge:
And Noah sang a song ...

Chorus:
||: Two by two :||  etc.

Verse 3:
Now when the rain stopped falling and the clouds began to pass,
The sea spread out for miles and miles, as smooth as any glass.
But that old ark kept rocking on the shiny, briny sea.
Where all us happy creatures danced the dance of eternity

Bridge:
And Noah sang a song ...

Chorus:
||: Two by two :||  etc.